Yep, he went there.

My husband went there, yet in all honesty, I did ask for his honesty.

Here is the back story:

We were getting ready the White Hot Party.

Like Goldilocks, I had three options:
1. One dress was too big.
2. One dress was too tight
3. The romper fits just right, except it was short. Shorter than I like to wear.

So I asked my husband: can you see my cellulite in this romper?

First, he asked:

“Are you playing tennis tonight?”

Then he asked ”

“What is a romper?”

And then he said it:

“Well, I can see the wrinkles on your legs.”

I wasn’t mad because I had asked, yet I did panic, and these thoughts raced through my mind:

I can’t wear this and show my cellulite!

I am too old for this outfit, who do I think I am?

How dare he be honest?

I ran to the bathroom and took pictures so that I could get my daughter’s opinions, and then I heard.”

STOP!

Who cares? If people are looking so closely at your legs and judging your cellulite, then they need a life!

As my body has shifted into her true size, I created a new prison.

I love activewear, and all the cute tops are midriff-baring. These tops are adorable, and they fit, and I won’t allow myself to wear them in public because I am afraid of being judged.

“Who does she think she is?”
“Is she trying to act like she is 25?”

Using the philosophy that I teach my clients “re-parenting for weight release,” I responded with one sentence:

“What they think is none of my business.”

It is the ongoing fear I have of shining too bright.

Growing up, I talked loud, I laughed loud, and I even walked loud. Being lively, equaled punishment.

My natural way of being is loud, commanding a room and shining yet, I also had a more significant need to please people and to be liked.

When I shine, I piss people off. My earliest memories came from being punished for shining brighter than those I lived with.

For most of my life, I lived in a cycle of:

• Shining bright,
• Dim that damn light.

It has affected my body, my sobriety, and my business.

It has created a dysfunctional relationship with humility.

I am so afraid of bragging I hide my brilliance, and that has affected my confidence.

Today during my reading, I discovered that humility and confidence are kissing cousins that when both are supported and together, they create peace and joy.

They may care a little about other opinions, yet those opinions do not define them.

Humility=I have a piece of divinity within me and so do you.
Confidence=my actions come from God, so they are divine.

Humble confidence allows me to shine while being able to see the divine in others (even the ones who are determined to dull my shine)

Enable me to take action, knowing that each step is a success.

• Allows me to take the stage and mess up a word.
• It allows me to write this blog and miss some typo or grammatical error.
• It allows me to be perfectly imperfect, where I get to define what perfect is for me.

I need some work on the selfie and maybe NOT doing them in the bathroom would be a good idea!

I wore that romper allowing my wrinkles to shine.

Allow me to tie this up into a pretty white bow:

1) Shine all day.
2)Accept the shine may produce chaos with those around you.
3)Embrace these anti-shiners, knowing that your shine is creating lessons so they can learn to shine.

I still talk loud, walk loud, and type loud.
THAT is my TRUE SELF, and I no longer apologize.

Mean and rude comments still hurt, yet they no longer define me.

Shine Sister Shine! I am applauding you!