How Health Coaching Made Me Sick, Fat and Miserable.
I was a health coach and creating a health coaching business became my personal nightmare.
In 2010, I was a freshly recovered compulsive over-eater and decided that I must share what I have learned to help others. It was my God given purpose.
But it wasn’t.
I had just released 50 pounds and I was highly motivated to build an internet empire. I truly believed that if I did the work that the people would find me.
It didn’t happen that way and when I failed I believed that I had to find another coach to help me because something was wrong with me.
I shipped 10,000 dollars to one coach and when I all I received was a 5 figure debt I gave 10,000 more to another coach.
I ran from the 5 figure coaching program right into a $997 product.
“Oh wait; maybe a high level website would attract my ideal client.”
I never created more than a yearly revenue of $8,000.
You don’t need a master in mathematics to know that my debt was 10 times more than my income.
With each wasted dollar I became fatter and more discouraged. I felt out of integrity. How can I help others with their body if I hated mine?
How can I help other release weight if I cannot even do it myself?
At least when I was 200 pounds I knew why I was 200 pounds. Now the weight was coming back and I didn’t have a clue why.
Deep in my gut I felt like I needed to step back and figure out what was wrong with me yet my high powered coaches said I didn’t have to fix me to help others.
All I needed to do was follow their step by step marketing and I would be rolling in the dough.
Using their templates made me feel dirty and slimy because it was not my voice.
When my results were not what the gurus had professed, these high powered coaches quit on me.
It reminded me of when I was searching for help with my food addiction. I went from therapist, to personal trainer to nutritionist. Eventually each would throw up their hands and say “I don’t know how to help you anymore.”
In the fall of 2013, I ran away to Hilton Head Island and I decided to quit.
It was hard. I was judged. “How can you quit?” “You just need this program.” “You are just afraid.”
Now I know that It takes more courage to walk away than it does to stay in something you hate.
And, I hated health coaching.
- I hated listening to people care about what they ate.
- I hated creating food plans and doing detoxes.
- I hated that I attracted the people that wanted me to fix them and when I didn’t they were disappointed in me.
I hated health coaching because I was health coaching like every other health coach.
Yet,I had certain expectations. I worked hard; I sacrificed friendships, my health and my body for my business and damn it I SHOULD HAVE BEEN rewarded with a thriving business.
Luckily, I could walk away. My husband didn’t care. My family didn’t care. I had no clients so they didn’t care.
After a few months, I felt empty and alone. I was lonely, yet I believed that I only attracted people who sucked the life out of me and I found it easier to just be alone.
I briefly worked with a network marketing company. I adore the products and I adored the people. Yet, creating a team just wasn’t my thing.
As a result I couldn’t play on their playground anymore.
Again I felt like I just didn’t belong.
I blamed the coaches, the people, the networking groups. I hated the high powered gurus for taking my money and refusing to take responsibility for my failure.
I balked at him; saying: “Sorry, I am unemployable.”
He responded. “Boy that chip on your shoulder must be difficult to carry around.”
Even though I wanted to bitch slap him; I knew he was right.
My debt wasn’t the guru’s fault. My lack of clients, low email list and empty programs wasn’t the result of a poorly assembled website or having the wrong marketing.
Becoming sick, fat and miserable in my health coaching business WAS MY FAULT AND MY RESPONSIBILITY!
I hated taking responsibility. The little girl within believed that it wasn’t my fault and that I did everything I could but something was flawed within me.
It was time to just let go of building anything besides my new kitchen.
After all, I have a great marriage and 2 fantastic kids; I think I will hang my accomplishment beret on that.
Yet, the kids are grown and I couldn’t stay in my home for the rest of my life.
Or so my husband said. He suggested I get a job or a hobby or volunteer.
Yuck on the hobby and double yuck on the volunteering (been there done that and don’t want to do that).
The job? Well, I could do that but I have no skills to do that besides coaching.
I have rug burns from too many draggings in my life and I just couldn’t deal with one more.
Before I could walk through that door to my next chapter; I had to figure out where things went wrong.
Almost 2 years later, I am clear on my part in the health coaching debacle.
God, has a plan that I still cannot totally see; but I don’t have to.
My health coaching helped me grow from a little emotional 8 year old into a 50 year old woman.
Like childbirth, it was painful. I screamed with each contraction. I fought hard to hide.
What was birthed as a result; makes every extra pound on my ass, every extra zit on my face worth it.
Today, I coach my way. I created Mindful Meal Parties my way.
Most importantly, I let go of health coaching their way and created a business that helps others change their relationship with food in a way that honors the client as opposed to my “process.”
I pinpointed 7 deadly sins that made me fat, sick and miserable:
- I allowed people to take advantage of me.
- I needed to please everyone.
- I didn’t listen to my gut.
- I cared about others’ opinions of me more than I cared about my opinion of me.
- I followed others step by step processes.
- I was jealous of everyone who had more success than me.
- I allowed my feelings to get in the way of my success.
These 7 deadly sins were once my coping mechanisms. They helped me stay sane during a very dysfunctional childhood.
Yet, they also lead me into years of food addiction, weight gain, compulsive exercising and extreme body hatred.
My epic fail at health coaching wasn’t about the health coaching after all.
I have heard that being an entrepreneur is the best personal development program around.
Even though the pain was unbearable, this failure became my biggest success.
I used to regret health coaching.
Today, I see it as my greatest teacher. I am thankful everyday for its lessons.
Enough about me! I want to hear from you!
Have you had an epic fail? What are the lessons?